5 tips to navigating grief at work + resources
Today is World Mental Health Day and the World Health Organization’s campaign for this year focuses on mental health at work, so let’s talk about a few ways to handle grief at work.
Do Not Use Work to Repress/Suppress:
Grief is multidimensional and involves a variety of overwhelming emotions, feelings, and sensations. It’s normal to want to use work to repress, suppress, or avoid all that; but doing so will likely result in burnout and the grief will find a way to make itself known in other areas of your life. Signs may include social withdrawal, sleep disruption, or intrusive thoughts. Rather than overworking, take care of you and your grief by asking for help while at work and taking time off work.
On the flip side, if you are avoiding work due to grief, you may benefit from breaking tasks down to smaller steps or creating to-do lists. Again, ask for help if that feels intimidating. If going to work seems daunting altogether, try scheduling a nice lunch with a trustworthy coworker or an afternoon walk - something to look forward to (or at least not dread).Communicate With Your Team/Manager(s):
In a time when you may already feel alone, making sure your team and manager(s) are aware of your grief/loss can be tremendously helpful. That doesn’t mean you need to tell them everything or that you should dump your emotions on them. But simply informing them will not only help them help you, but is also a way of acknowledging your own grief.
Set Boundaries:
Boundaries are vital in grief, but especially at work. There are two important types of boundaries to set at work:
those that help others from putting too much on you; for example: “I will not be available to cover any shifts this week“
those that help you from putting too much on others; for example: “How can I share with you in regards to what’s happening
Utilizing both types of boundaries will not only help you maintain a healthy work-life balance, but also your relationship with coworkers.
Create a Plan:
A few things to consider: What can you do to regulate your nervous system throughout the day to ease the hodgepodge of emotions, feelings, and sensations? If something unexpected occurs from your grief (i.e. a sudden outburst), what can you do to remedy the situation? Do you have a safe person at work to go to if needed? Or perhaps someone you can call?
Compartmentalize When Necessary:
AND make sure to schedule time afterwards to grieve - the “and” is essential. Sometimes we can’t get around our responsibilities at work and putting the emotions and rumination on a shelf helps get through our workday. However, it is crucial to remember to grieve and mourn when you are feeling safe to do so.
For managers/coworkers looking to support your team member, remember that while work may have timelines, grief does not. That doesn’t mean you should let a griever leave their duties unattended or walk all over you, but rather that you should work with them to create a plan in support of both you and them. Be curious, but not prying.
Bonus Tip: Of course, all of this is contingent upon your company’s work culture and attitude towards mental health/grief. So make sure to discuss this and get an idea of how a company approaches mental health in your interview(s) before accepting a job.
Lastly, in the spirit of World Mental Health Day, visit the Inclusive Therapist website for a list of warm lines that do not use police intervention. Often in times of a mental health crisis, it can feel uncomfortable to reach out for immediate help with the possibility of having the authorities called. This list will hopefully alleviate some of the added pressure and fear may make it feel unsafe to seek support at all.
For non-emergency and grief related support, book a call with me here or visit this directory curated by grief expert, David Kessler, for a list of certified grief educators categorized into therapists, coaches, and peer-to-peer based on your needs.
